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An angel in my room

Subject: Swedish
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A bridge far away at a single location. On a bridge where I sit all alone, alone in the dark I would prefer to leave.
I see stars and moon mirrored in the still dark blue lake.
Slowly I fall back down on the bridge. My head lands on the splintered floorboards and everything goes black. Loneliness took over my body that night in July. After that, nothing förut.Ett light from nowhere sucking into my newly opened dark eyes. A heat wave sweeping across my cheeks, and I feel a hand settles on my forehead to gently sweep down over my cheek.
As the light slowly fades away enters a face forward. Surrounded by the light, I see a face.
I extend my hand, and put it on top of the hand that has just swept across my face. I hold his hand hard, hard push so it against my cheek. I wish time stops here. That everything stays in this second, when you and I are together, when we are here as if it has always been so.

The hand lifted from my cheek, I lose time. My hand falls down and lands on the mattress next to me. Face with bright blue eyes disappear, and once again I am left alone.
- Hello my friend. Here lies still. The sun is high in the sky and the birds sing all they can. Today is summer here, yes, my friend. Today is summer here.
It was Grandma, I recognized the soft voice of a man who has always been by my side.
I was still too weak to respond. As if I would be banned from all my movements.
- Soon you'll have been here for three days. These three days when summer is finally here. Why are you here, my dear. Beloved children, you can not wake up and share the warmth of summer and joy with me.
The voice of the grandmother continued. I did not think it would end, I would listen. All my life I wanted to listen.
Grandmother's soft hands stroked my forehead, just as they had done in 16 years. I love my grandmother, she is wonderful.
Mom came up, I heard how she talked, heard how she asked if grandma received a reply from me. I never heard grandmother say, I guess she slowly shook her head, as she usually does when something is too hard to answer. Dear Grandma, I wanted to say it. Dear Grandma, do not worry. I'm going to a better place where we shall meet again. I wanted to get up in bed, stretch out my hands, one hand to the mother, and one for Grandma. I wanted to grab their hands and hug them hard, to then look them in the eye and tell them that it is not over here. I wanted to, but I can not.
Instead I had to lie there. Helpless as a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest. Just as fragile as a chick, I was too.

The days went by. I slept all the time I slept. Could not eat more. Could not drink. I could only lie there, alone.
Why are not you here now? Now that you're the only one who can help me.
Grandma was with me, every day she sat by my bed, stroking my forehead and talked to me with that voice I loved.
Mom was rarely social with me, now that I could not answer. She stood and watched the most, I felt her presence.
- Beloved children. Why are you doing this? Grandmother's voice was sad, worse than ever today.
What should I answer? I could not but with an incredible effort I hugged her hand.

- As you may already know, you put a deadline on someone who does not have much time left. It can range from months to hours. Here we talk about days. I regret.
The doctor told the mother and grandmother. Death Commandment. As a letter in the mail, but this time worse than the bills. Poor mother, poor, poor, dear mother. And grandmother, dear grandmother. Forgive me.

The summer sun went over to rain, birds chirping was replaced by seagulls screamed, the flowers began to fade and lose their color. Grandma sat in my room every day, she told me everything between heaven and earth, from birth to death, and stroked my forehead.
- Dear Friend. Why are you here? We miss your presence. Grandma whispered quietly, so I had to listen carefully.

The morning after the doctor was there I was so bad that I had not even heard grandmother told me there on the chair beside the bed.
I ate no more, the only thing I had in me was water that grandma gave me the spoon, although I could not be bothered.

The last I heard was how grandmother locked the door to my room. Then everything was quiet. So quiet and comfortable. I turned off here, could not manage more. Now it was over.

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